somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
