Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
