Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
