Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
