Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
