I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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