community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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