dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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