I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
