tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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