He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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