Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
