I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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