I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize