so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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