so that wasnt chicken after all
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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