I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize