I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
