the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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