please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
