OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
