walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
