Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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