Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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