I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
