everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
