I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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