i need an iv and a liver transplant
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
