Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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