Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
