I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
