Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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