the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
