in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
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i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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