Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
