i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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