There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
