Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
