And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
