Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
