I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
