I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I can text with my tongue
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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