You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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