My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
