Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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