So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
