mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
