dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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