Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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