i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
