I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize