im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
