My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Houston, we have a squirter
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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