i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
