I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize