I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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