If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
