oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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