I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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