redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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