After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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