And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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