He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
