you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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