My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize