Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize