Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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