she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
