It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
