piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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